The Codex Astartes, and About a Gas Barrel’s Worth of Blueberry Kool-Aid!
Blood Angel Berserker: A Warhammer 40,000 Comic Triumph
A Picture-Perfect Blood Angel
The comic starts off in what appears to be a high-profile press conference, where a very shredded, very blonde, and very smug Blood Angel Space Marine is being interviewed. This dude looks like a literal golden Adonis, complete with a radiant smile, a glistening physique, and just the right amount of bolter holes decorating his perfectly sculpted chest. The reporter, utterly fascinated by his godly war hero presence, asks the all-important question: how did you manage to hold back an entire contingent of the alien Tau? The Marine, flexing every single muscle he owns (and maybe some he doesn’t), prepares to drop the most tactical, strategic, and scholarly answer known to mankind.
The Codex Astartes, and About a Gas Barrel’s Worth of Blueberry Kool-Aid!
The scene then cuts to five minutes earlier, where our graceful, well-spoken warrior is, in fact, going full Dracula mode on an unfortunate Tau soldier. His handsome face is now a feral, red-eyed nightmare, his fangs are out, and he’s treating this poor xeno’s jugular like an all-you-can-drink Capri Sun pouch. Meanwhile, the Tau soldier’s expression is pure this wasn’t in the recruitment brochure. The moment is loud, violent, and involves an unhealthy amount of blueberry-colored blood spray, which by now could probably fill a 50-gallon drum of horrifying space juice. The entire battle strategy, it seems, was less about strict adherence to military doctrine and more about unhinged vampire berserker rampages.
Tactical Genius in Action
Cutting back to the press conference, our golden Space Chad, now looking cool, collected, and slightly winking, delivers his final, completely reasonable response: the Codex Astartes. That’s right, folks—the sacred, ultra-detailed, thousand-page manual of Space Marine tactics somehow fully justifies turning into a frothing chainsaw-mouthed monster and going ham on a bunch of Tau like it’s feeding time at the Bloodthirsty Marine Petting Zoo. Whether Guilliman himself would approve of this interpretation is debatable, but one thing’s for sure: this is what peak performance looks like.