Screwing the Blood Angels

Blood Angels, Meet Rejection at 60 kph

In this side-splitting comic, we see a pair of hopeful Blood Angels standing on the curb as a blue Rhino transport belonging to the Ultramarines screeches to a dramatic halt. The background music is practically audible with a soft, sad breakup song lyric—“’Cause I really wanna stay at your house”—hanging awkwardly in the air. The Ultramarine inside, deadpan and expressionless, seems to be doing some serious emotional calculus behind that stoic helm. Maybe he’s remembering Baal’s tendency to explode or that awkward time Sanguinius punched a hole in Horus’s soul. Either way, there’s a big whiff of “nah, not today” wafting from the blue boy’s cockpit. The tension is so thick, you could cut it with a chainsword.

Screwing the Blood Angels, One Lock at a Time

As the Blood Angels try to hold on to hope—one literally clasping his hands like he’s about to confess his feelings—the Ultramarine’s face does not budge. The heartfelt lyrics, “And I hope this works out,” just make the whole scene even more painful, as if Sanguinius himself reached across the Warp to hand them a mixtape. But instead of letting the moment breathe, the Ultramarine performs the most passive-aggressive power move in all of 40k: he locks the door. CLICK. No words. No explanation. Just the universal sound of “get your heresy-prone, red-armored behind off my property.”

The Emperor’s Will… Is Petty

This meme nails the vibe of inter-chapter pettiness in the Imperium like a bolter shell to the funny bone. The Ultramarines are known for their rigid code and tactical stoicism, and this comic turns that into the ultimate burn. No flaming promethium, no thunder hammer—just emotional damage in vehicular form. The Blood Angels, those poor doomed romantics, are left standing like a couple of rejected high schoolers after prom, wondering where it all went wrong. Somewhere, Guilliman nods in approval while Dante lets out a deep, dramatic sigh. It’s not just a meme—it’s a drive-by heartbreak with power armor.