Rogal comedy night. The Emperor’s stand-up career was 30,000 years ahead of its time!

Rogal Comedy Night Begins

In this hilarious Warhammer 40K comic strip by Tio Sokaro, we’re treated to a rare and absurd sight: Rogal Dorn, Primarch of the Imperial Fists, doing stand-up comedy. The segment is called “Rogal Comedy Night,” and it kicks off with Rogal standing on stage under a glowing neon sign that reads “Hey Rogal Stand-Up.” With his stoic expression and dry delivery, Dorn deadpans a joke: “What did one wall say to another?” followed by the punchline, “Nothing, walls don’t talk.” The crowd—or lack thereof—sets the tone for his unique brand of humor: cold, literal, and incredibly unfunny. And yet, the delivery is so bad that it becomes kind of brilliant. It’s comedy so dry it makes the Martian dust storms look moist.

The Audience Reaction

Sitting in the audience are three unlucky listeners: Perturabo of the Iron Warriors, Roboute Guilliman of the Ultramarines, and Vulkan of the Salamanders. While Vulkan bursts out laughing and exclaims “Ha ha, Father is very funny,” his brothers are utterly baffled. Perturabo and Guilliman both stare in stunned silence, surrounded by question marks and confusion. Vulkan, ever the loyal and cheerful son, seems oblivious to the awkward tension around him. It’s the kind of moment that makes you wonder if Vulkan is actually laughing at the joke or just out of love for his father. Either way, the contrast between their reactions makes the punchline land even harder.

The Emperor’s Eternal Stage Presence

As the comic closes, each Primarch silently reflects on the torment of the evening. Perturabo thinks, “I should have gone to Father’s poetry recital,” while Guilliman mutters internally, “The worst thing is that he has better jokes than Guilliman.” Vulkan, though still smiling, has a potted plant in front of him with a little sign that simply reads “Kill me.” It’s a brutal but hilarious commentary on how bad Dorn’s comedy is—yet it still manages to outshine Guilliman’s. The comic gently pokes fun at the idea of the Emperor’s children trying to relate to him in strange, human ways—like going to an open mic night. After all, the Emperor’s stand-up career was clearly 30,000 years ahead of its time.