Cadian Shock Troopers: The Underdogs of the Guard
This meme perfectly captures the sheer, unrelenting enthusiasm of the Cadian Shock Troopers, the most iconic regiment of the Astra Militarum—despite not exactly being the best at everything. The first few panels show a soldier basking in victory, proudly receiving a medal, chomping down on it with the intensity of a man who thinks he just won the galaxy, and kissing a woman in celebration. It’s a moment of triumph, a display of dominance, and the sheer confidence of a soldier who believes he’s at the top of the Imperium’s pecking order. His uniform may be missing some standard-issue wargear, but he doesn’t care—he’s living his best post-battle life.
The Ultimate Celebration… Until Reality Hits
As the celebration continues, our Cadian hero absolutely goes all in—double-fisting champagne, spraying it everywhere like he’s just conquered a dozen planets single-handedly. His joy knows no bounds, his moment of glory unparalleled. He is the Emperor’s chosen, the finest soldier in the Guard. However, there’s a crucial detail he has yet to notice—he is not actually in first place. His name is on the third podium, and his victory lap is about to take a very sobering turn. The true champions of the Astra Militarum stand just a step above him, watching his antics with the quiet, disciplined contempt that only hardened warriors can muster.
The Harsh Reality of the Guard Hierarchy
As the camera zooms out, the punchline hits like an orbital bombardment—the Death Korps of Krieg and the Catachan Jungle Fighters occupy the first and second-place spots, staring down at the overenthusiastic Cadian like grim gods of war. The Cadian trooper, mid-champagne spray, realizes his mistake far too late. The Krieg guardsman, a walking embodiment of suicidal discipline and trench warfare, and the Catachan Jungle Fighter, a Rambo-esque death machine bred to survive the most brutal conditions, have rightfully claimed their positions above him. Yet the Cadian refuses to acknowledge reality—because even in third place, he’s still giving 110%. And really, isn’t that what being in the Astra Militarum is all about?
