The Beckhams Talking about Warhammer Funny Meme

The Primarch Propaganda Machine: Genius or Glorified Chaos Fodder?

The Primarch Propaganda Machine

In the first panel, we see Victoria Beckham, representing Games Workshop (GW), proudly proclaiming that the Primarchs are the most brilliant military commanders of all time. It’s the kind of grandiose, almost religious statement that Warhammer lore loves to throw around. These demi-gods, forged by the Emperor, are supposedly tactical masterminds capable of outthinking entire star systems. Meanwhile, in the adjacent panel, David Beckham, peeking hesitantly from behind a door, represents the skeptical Warhammer fanbase. His expression says it all—something doesn’t add up here.

The Myth of the Primarch Brain

In the next set of images, Victoria doubles down, claiming that their minds work on a completely different level, impossible for a mortal to comprehend. It’s classic 40k fluff—Primarchs are just built different. But if you’ve ever read a Warhammer novel, you know that many of these so-called geniuses make some absolutely boneheaded decisions. Horus? Fell for the oldest Chaos trick in the book. Angron? Solved every problem with a frontal charge. Lorgar? Took one bad book review and decided to burn the galaxy. Meanwhile, David’s cautious look intensifies. He wants to say something. The truth is on the tip of his tongue.

The Emperor Has No Tactical Clothes

Finally, Victoria’s façade crumbles as she lets out the real truth: Our writers have no idea how military strategy actually works. And there it is—the smoking bolter. The same universe that tells us Guilliman is a strategic genius also has him being outplayed by literal daemons who don’t even obey the laws of physics. Half of the Primarchs lead their legions with all the tactical subtlety of an Ork warboss on a sugar rush. David, now emboldened, nods with satisfaction, delivering the final “THANK YOU.” We, the fans, knew it all along. Warhammer is about rule of cool, not coherent military strategy—and honestly, we wouldn’t have it any other way.